Beyond The Therapy Room

Ep 03: The Identities Running Your Life (and maybe your business)!

• Ali & Sky • Season 1 • Episode 3

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0:00 | 22:35

Have you ever wondered why you keep getting stuck in the same patterns, despite all the personal growth and self-awareness work you've done?

In this episode of Beyond the Therapy Room, Skye and Ali explore the hidden identities that shape how we show up in our relationships, careers, therapy practices, and businesses. From the people pleaser and perfectionist to the overachiever, controller, and good girl, these parts often begin as protective strategies but can quietly become the very things holding us back.

Together, they unpack how these identities develop, how they show up in real time, and why awareness alone isn't enough. You'll learn how to recognize your own patterns, identify the bottlenecks keeping you stuck, and begin responding from your healthy adult self rather than old conditioning.

Whether you're a therapist, business owner, helper, or simply someone committed to growth, this conversation will invite you to look beneath the surface and ask: Which identity is running the show right now?

✨ In this episode, we discuss:

  •  The people pleaser, perfectionist, overachiever, and controller identities 
  •  How childhood conditioning shapes adult behavior 
  •  Why awareness is the first step—but not the final step 
  •  The hidden ways these identities impact your business and relationships 
  •  Moving from performance and protection into authenticity and presence 
  •  How to identify the bottlenecks keeping you stuck

If this episode resonates with you, we'd love to hear from you. Join our community, share your reflections, and let us know what conversations you'd like us to explore in future episodes.

IG: @beyondthe_therapyroom

Ali:

You followed the training, you've built the skills, and you became the therapist. But now you're wondering, is this it? Beyond the Therapy Room is where we have the conversations most therapists are thinking but not saying out loud. There's Skye, psychologist and mentor, and Ally, counselor and tantric healer,

bringing two perspectives:

clinical and intuitive, structured and expansive. We talk burnout, identity, spirituality, business, relationships, and what happens when you stop playing by the rules that you were trained in. This is for the therapist who knows there's more. Two different paths, two different perspectives, but the same truth. There's more available to you than the box you were trained in Here we are, back for another episode of Beyond the Therapy Room. And we thought today it might be really great to talk a little more in depth around those identities that we keep bringing up. You know, we've mentioned the people pleaser, the overachiever. We've mentioned the over controlling part- Mm … and many more. So we thought we'd just have a little bit of chat today about how those identities and- Yeah parts of us show up, and either, um, contribute to the therapeutic space-

Sky:

Mm-hmm… Ali: and/or maybe even get in Mm-hmm. And growing beyond the room, too.

Ali:

Yeah, 'cause here's the thing. Me, as a therapist-

Sky:

Yep… Ali: I'm human, too, so I've parts and conditioning and- Yeah you know, patterns within me. And often when we're sitting with and supporting our people, we can see and hear and mark those showing up- Mm … in the therapeutic space. Absolutely.

Ali:

And it's, I mean, it's great, and it's important to be able to assist somebody to really see that part themselves, too. So it's been helpful for me to understand and really clarify what they are.

Sky:

Mm.

Ali:

Could you help, um, people who are listening, Sky, to understand a little bit more about the people pleaser part? I know that's been a big one that's shown up for you, and you've really come to know that part of yourself so well.

Sky:

Yes, we've got very intimate together. I, I think for me, I didn't actually realize people pleasing was there until I, um, went to uni and, um, started being a psychologist and then, you know, had my own person, and they just kinda started to reflect and highlighted the different parts that started showing up in the therapy room.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

Because I think, too, and we mentioned this in the first episode, that uni's amazing, right, and I learned so much, but we learn so much about the how, and then we go to supervision, and supervision is amazing, too, right? But it's very focused on the client, um, and how we need to be, like, supporting them and available for them and all of the things, which is, again, really, really important. And equally, though, and I use this term a lot, what gets neglected, and you mentioned it last session, too, is that we don't focus on our own conditioning-

Ali:

Mm… Sky: and where we've come from, from how that impacts our relationships. Yeah. So let's chat for a little bit, like, why might a little person turn into a big person who's now a people pleaser?'Cause I know for me, like, in my adulthood, I realized I had two parents that were people pleasers. Yeah. So I felt like I had a double dose of

Sky:

of- You got, you got the modeling in real time of how to be a people pleaser.

Ali:

I did. I did, definitely. And, and it meant to me, like, what, the way it translated for me was, as little people, we seek connection. We seek relationship. Mm-hmm. We, we seek that presence from- Yeah … our parents or even our, our brothers and sisters. And, um, sometimes we wanna do whatever we can to, um- Get, get that approval- Yeah … or that acceptance or that connection or relationship, right?

Sky:

Yep.

Ali:

And so instead of being able to be true or authentic to self, we're now trying to appease the other-

Sky:

Yeah

Ali:

in order to get connection.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

So that's, that's I think the birthplace of, for many of us. Maybe not all of us, but many of us.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

And I think just to add for me, what I noticed growing up, too, was that I, ADHD, hypersensitive, um, very in tune with other people's, um, like thoughts and feelings, is that when I started to notice, 'cause mental health in my family, other people getting upset or distressed or anxious or not being okay-

Ali:

Mm

Sky:

is I automatically went in my brain, "Oh, I need to solve this."

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

Right? And I needed to, like, make sure that they're okay. And so we forego our need for somebody else's need, and hence people pleaser.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

Right? What do, who do you need me to be? What do you need from me?

Ali:

Yes.

Sky:

And I think, you know, sometimes unintentionally when we become a psychologist, like, this stuff gets rewarded. Like, you're so good at reading people's or you're so attuned or you build rapport easily. And, and yes, that's a lot of people I see can do that, and equally though there's that fine line- If we're not mindful of, like, what's me in a role as psychologist and being Sky, and then what's my conditioning and people pleasing, because that's the stuff that's gonna keep you stuck.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

Right? So kind of like the sentence of, like, "What got me to here is not gonna get me there."

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

Does that make sense? That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

Ali:

And I'm also aware of that sneaky moment, often in therapeutic spaces with people, if an emotion is revealed- Mm … or if a struggle is revealed or, you know, they're sharing some kind of, um, complexity or trauma-

Sky:

Mm

Ali:

not rushing in to, to kind of appease them- Yeah … or to please them or, you know, give a tissue even. Something, like, letting us sit in that space with them.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

You know, sometimes it's uncomfortable for you, but that's, that's again, beautiful being aware of yourself and how you're showing up in that space, but not rushing in to kind of fix anything or repair it or make it go away.

Sky:

Yeah. But

Ali:

just being present with it.

Sky:

I feel like a lot of therapists, and even mamas and, um, carers, dads do this, is that we have this sense of, like, knowing what we, um, need to do

Ali:

Mm… Sky: for others, and being like, can have your feelings, and you can do this and you can do that." But then with ourselves, it's like we're not so good at that, right? Mm. So we can be like, "No, I'm gonna let that person cry," but then maybe with ourselves we're like, "Oh, I can't cry. That's weak." Ah, yeah. Yeah.

Sky:

Right? Like, we have different rules, different rules for different spaces.

Ali:

It can be the way at times. Yeah. Yeah.

Sky:

Right? I know another thing that I have experienced a lot, Ally, I don't know if you've experienced the same, is, like, being overly responsible for other people as well.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

Right?

Ali:

Oh, yeah. I-

Sky:

Yeah. Feel… Look what you… Your face then. Show me that face.

Ali:

I'm a chronic, I'm a chronic overachiever from- Yeah way back, like-

Sky:

Yeah… Ali: and that part of me Yeah.

Ali:

That, um, striving to get the A or the grade or the teacher's connection and approval this time, right? Yeah. And so, um, always on my report cards I was the diligent student. You're being, like, conscientious, and rewarded for that.

Sky:

Oh, yes. Rewarded for the good girl and the achiever. Yeah.

Ali:

Yeah. Absolutely. And so even in, like, that transfers into other relationships or other areas of my life, too. So I am wanting to be the best therapist I can be, and I might, you know, might show up in overachieving outcomes for my people- Yeah

Sky:

I've gotta study that one more thing. Yes, yes. I love to train, don't I? Yes. Yeah.'Cause, 'cause it would be great to just keep being a student forever. Yes. And learning important, but equally though, not trusting own knowledge already- Yes … problem. And that's that fine line everywhere, right? Yeah. And so for me, as I'm maturing more, yes, I can follow my passions and interests and train in something, but I, I come back to this mantra, I'm always both the master and the apprentice. Yeah. I can be a student and

Ali:

a teacher.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

Both are possible, right?

Sky:

I like that word, and.

Ali:

Yeah. Yeah.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

And so when we think about that overachieving part or, or over-performing part even-

Sky:

Mm… Ali: that might come up in with your partner, for example. Yeah

Ali:

Where you're wanting to make sure you go above and beyond so that they, they think you're the greatest partner ever and you, you know, you give them everything that they want and, and you make sure you plan these fantastic dates and- We might, you know, we might just exhaust ourselves trying to-

Sky:

Yeah

Ali:

accomplish all these things in our friendships or our partnerships at times too.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

Now, can you re- relate to that overachieving, overperforming, overextending yourself as well?

Sky:

Overextending, definitely. I think the overachieving thing with me was slightly different. Mine was more the good girl, because with me, I was always like, I wasn't smart enough, and I never quite got there, wherever there was. And I was told like, "You can't do X, Y, Z." So it wasn't so much rewarded for intelligence, I think that was my sister.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

For me, it was, I was rewarded for my emotional capacity to hold space for people.

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

And so, yeah, so my experience with that was slightly different.

Ali:

Yeah, yeah.

Sky:

Yeah. And

Ali:

so people would relate to, to either of those.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

C- and 'cause the way it shows up for individuals is so unique, isn't

Sky:

it? It really is.

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

And we were talking before we got on too about, um, like, perfectionism as well.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

Like, we started, we we actually recorded the first episode, like, not the first episode, but the first, first episode-

Ali:

Incoming confession

Sky:

right? Like, w- we, we sat down and we come up with a script, and we got really formal, and we sat there and we, like, we read it out, and we were like-

Ali:

We love structure. We do love a structure, and we love a topic or a concept- Yeah … but kind

Sky:

of- It was like,

Ali:

what the fuck

Sky:

was that? That

Ali:

was performing, not presence, right? Literally. Yeah. And- And it's, it's trying to, um, you know, control the outcome, or be perfect in the outcome-

Sky:

Yes … isn't

Ali:

it? Yeah.

Sky:

Yeah. And I think that's, like, I'm not a controlling person-

Ali:

Mm-hmm… Sky: but I can get very caught up that I get the outcome for people, like, that they're okay- Yeah … or I get it right, or I get it perfect. Yeah. I, I definitely have the perfectionism story or conditioning- Yeah … in me. I know as a young person, I'd often screw things up and chuck them out- Mm … or not wanna share or show it with someone until it was perfect.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

My mom said something brilliant to me once actually,'cause I love to bake and cook-

Sky:

Yeah

Ali:

and she said, "Ally, if ever it doesn't turn out, just go bury it in the backyard. No one will ever know." And that, that was a beautiful permission piece for me-

Sky:

Oh, it's okay… Ali: to fuck up, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Ali:

And, um, as an adult, I, I notice that even though I'm aware of that- Mm … conditioning of perfectionism, like, I might want my social media polished and- Mm and looking awesome- Yes … because that's about my reputation, I also have to say to myself often,"Close enough's good enough."

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

You know? And, um, it's not about that comparing to others and- Um, or thinking it needs to be so polished and refined it's gonna be received well. Like, as long as I'm happy with it-

Sky:

Yeah I

Ali:

don't care how it's received anymore. So yeah, we've, we've become a little more relaxed over the years- Yeah… once you get to know these parts.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

And, um, we can laugh about them. Like, you're smiling- We can … and I'm laughing.

Sky:

Right. But I think the thing, interesting thing is, is we, I don't know about everybody else, but it's kind of like we get relaxed and we get familiar in the role that we're in, like for example, in the therapy space-

Ali:

Mm

Sky:

and then we go to do something different. Like, we're talking with you guys about this stuff, like the podcast, and then the old conditioning, like, literally screams at us. Oh,

Ali:

my God, yes.

Sky:

Right? Like, hence the first, first episode being, like, really scripted and not us.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

Right? And I think what happens a lot of the time is when we fall into that old conditioning, we actually make it mean more than what it does.

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

Like, we get caught up in this idea of like, "Oh, my God," like,"I've, I've already done the work. Why am I still being a people pleaser?" Or, "Why am I still g- caught up in perfectionism?"

Ali:

Or, "Oh, it must

Sky:

mean that we shouldn't do the podcast, Ally." Oh, no. "Because we got the first, the first one was really horrible, so, so let's not, let's

Ali:

just like- Let's just chuck it out. Chuck the baby- Yeah … out with the bathwater.

Sky:

Right? Yeah. And I think so many of us, that's where the block happens-

Ali:

Mm

Sky:

without us even realizing it. And instead of us seeing it as like identity block, we actually language it in real time as, "I'm too busy."

Ali:

Yeah." Sky: It's not the right time. It wasn't gonna work anyway. Someone's doing it better." Like, that, that inner critic- Yes … has great ways of, like, talking us out of doing shit. It sure does. It's a professional at that.

Sky:

100%. But the more we can be aware of our identities and how those different parts of us sneakily show up as, like, little protection pieces-

Ali:

Mm… Sky: the less likely we are to Exactly right.

Sky:

Right?

Ali:

Yeah. And the more willing we are to stretch ourselves beyond those limitations, to feel the fear and go do something anyway-

Sky:

Yeah

Ali:

you know?

Sky:

So if we run through them, like, i- if you think about, 'cause we're both in business, so that's probably a good, and we're talking to therapists, right? So it's probably a good space to think of, like, do you know for you, how does the people pleaser or the good girl show up in real time and impact a business? Like, the first one that comes to my mind for me is financial.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

Right? Because I get, um, did get when I was first started, like, so caught up in like,"Oh, my God, I can't charge too much." And that's not okay, and nobody's gonna come, nobody's gonna wanna pay for that.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

And I can't charge that cancellation fee because then that person might not come back. And then I can't put my fees up because that conversation's too hard. And, like, it was just all of these stories that I made up in my head-

Ali:

Yes… Sky: that actually kept me cap- it was the people pleaser in real time. Yeah. I can totally relate to that too- Yeah … with money. And let me add to that, um, h- the type of client base that you accept.

Sky:

Mm.

Ali:

You know? So for me, I might know which type of people are my no-go type of people.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

But if I, if I'm people pleasing, I might notice that I'll accept that type of client regardless- Yes … of what my-

Sky:

Everybody

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

They all need me, or they could benefit from me, or, you know, sometimes, um, you would be aware, sometimes what you've been through in your own life-

Sky:

Yeah

Ali:

might be a really, um, you might be able to pay it forward and support other people through that kind of thing. But if that's too personally triggering for you, or it's too close to your client's experience-

Sky:

Yeah… Ali: then it's a no. Yeah. You

Ali:

know? But don't, don't, um, get caught up in the people pleasing of just accepting it- Yeah because they need it, or they want it, or it's right for them.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

It's gotta be right for you too.

Sky:

And I, yeah, and I think too in my brain when you were talking, it was also, um, I'm less available. Like, if I go and do a podcast, and like today, if we take two hours out of our therapeutic space time- Yeah right, that we're used to, then I'm taking something away from someone.

Ali:

Mm.

Sky:

Right? And I would be really caught up in, like, okay, I'm taking it away from my kids, or I'm taking it away from my clients, or my hubby, or whoever it might be.

Ali:

I'll let others down- Yeah … like, yeah. Yeah.

Sky:

So when we go to grow and do something different, we don't allow ourselves that space to be like, "Oh, I'm allowed this time to do something different."

Ali:

Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

So one of the other parts where- Yeah,

Sky:

what'd your brain just do?

Ali:

Yeah. I'm, I'm coming back to that controlling part- Mm … 'cause I noticed we hadn't really shared about that.

Sky:

Tell me about that. What's coming in your mind?

Ali:

Yeah. So what's landing for me is I don't actually have this kind of controlling part, but I've seen it show up in the therapeutic space so much- Mm and in my personal life as well.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

Where people might feel a sense… Like, the biggest theme that I think comes through with this is they might feel a sense of being out of control internally-

Sky:

Yeah… Ali: or, you know, with their own Um, so they'll tend to overcontrol externally. Mm. Have

Ali:

you seen that pattern stuff?

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

This is where I see, and I've worked with, um, other therapists around, like, the micromanaging-

Ali:

Mm… Sky: or the lack of delegating. So there's this sense of like…'Cause when you start a private practice… Sorry, I talk in long-winded sentences, ADHD. But when you start a private practice, you're many roles. Mm. You are. Right? You're wearing all the hats.

Sky:

Admin, social media, bloody cleaner, whatever it might

Ali:

be. Receptionist.

Sky:

And I think that controlling, um, nature or identity, it keeps you bottlenecked because there's no time or space-

Ali:

Mm… Sky: because you don't delegate. You don't give other people that trust or permission or whatever to do other parts of your business because you're so busy either doing it all and controlling it- Yes

Sky:

or micromanaging-

Ali:

Yeah… Sky: the other people doing the thing. Yeah, exactly.

Sky:

Does that… Yeah.

Ali:

Yeah. And they, some of these parts are so meshed in with each other 'cause, you know, that people pleaser or not setting a boundary or not saying no or, or taking on too much, like, they're all working in partnership sometimes I think. Absolutely.

Sky:

They're all fucking best friends over here, and you're like, "What are yous doing to me?"

Ali:

Yeah, yeah. So, um, before Sky and I even hit the record on this podcast, like, I don't find myself to have that overly controlling type part, but I do find myself on the receiving end of that from others a lot of the time. Yeah. So I have this subservient or submissive type nature about me that's-

Sky:

Yeah… Ali: um, happy to go with the flow, and And like, I'll, I'm easy. It's all good. Yeah.

Ali:

And, um, that often will, will show up both in and outside of, um, the therapy room, too, because-

Sky:

Yeah… Ali: we don't wanna always, um- go off Sometimes we might need to lead them to- Mm … a certain place, or maybe they're trying to avoid sitting- Mm … with their feelings, but me- Yeah … guiding them back to that is actually the most therapeutic thing I could do right now. Yeah.

Ali:

And then how that translates outside of the room, again, in your… Like, as a mama, that shows up for me a lot.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

If, um, 'cause i- if I'm overly submissive or not, not managing, delegating, or controlling- Mm … the household, for example-

Sky:

Mm-hmm… Ali: I'm not getting the support I need What also came into my brain too, Ally, and I know you won't care if I share this, is like, before we even started today's session- Mm it was like, "Well, Sky, what do you think?" "And what topic should we do?"

Ali:

Yes."And

Sky:

what, and what, where do you wanna start?"

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

And because we have that dynamic, and I know Ally well enough, I'm like, "Mm, cool, you give me an answer, and then we'll go from there." And it shows up in real time. So sometimes also, and I know this is not true for you, but sometimes also we can think we're doing the thing, like maybe we're doing a podcast with someone, but really, we're still in a conditioned response.

Ali:

Mm-hmm.

Sky:

Right? So Ally was able to articulate and share, and we had a conversation, which was awesome, but I think a lot of the time some people don't do that.

Ali:

That's right.

Sky:

Right? Yeah. And instead of us feeling then aligned, and we're kind of present, and we're creating that thing with someone, we're back stuck in performing or the identity because we're along for the ride, and outside looking like-

Ali:

Mm-hmm

Sky:

I'm doing the thing-

Ali:

Yeah… Sky: but internally, still Yeah. That's where you need to be willing to show up and have the courage to have conscious conversations with, with your people-

Sky:

Yeah… Ali: whether it be a colleague you're you know, around romantic and, and sexual issues, or your friends even. Yeah.

Ali:

Um, I got a couple of awesome best friends that I can really go deep in conscious conversations with, and we call each other out on our parts and our shit all the time.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

And this is how we grow. This is how we expand.

Sky:

And this is why this is here.

Ali:

Exactly, because it's, you know… Anything that you're keeping in the shadows or keeping hidden in the dark- Yeah is only going to consume you and keep driving things-

Sky:

Yeah… Ali: you know? And often in the direction we don't wanna go.

Ali:

That's right.

Sky:

Right.

Ali:

So how do we integrate? This is what I love to come back to- Yeah … in all the work that I do. How do we come to know these parts? Because once we know them, that's, that's not magic fairy godmother wand- Mm bang, you're better. Um, they're with you for life. My philosophy is they're with you for life.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

However, you now have more awareness around that part.

Sky:

Mm.

Ali:

Therefore, you can challenge it quicker yourself and/or let other people see you in it- Yeah … and, and, um, hold a mirror up to you or challenge you in it too. And then our recovery rate or our recovery time from that and getting back to our healthy self-

Sky:

Yeah

Ali:

is faster.

Sky:

Yeah, it was about, what, five minutes before- Exactly … we start recording the podcast?

Ali:

Exactly, exactly.' Sky: Cause I think as you're talking, mind is, like, it's, it's knowing the identity, but knowing how it shows up tangibly in real time. Yes.

Sky:

Right? Yeah. And so again, another one's, like, the perfectionist, right? Yeah. So how does the perfectionist show up tangibly in real time?

Ali:

Yeah, it makes me want to adjust my overalls, 'cause I just realized they've gone a bit strange.

Sky:

You're allowed to do that. But I think the perfectionist is instead of actually sitting down and having the conversation and recording the podcast-

Ali:

Mm

Sky:

you actually have spent the last 12 months researching, deep diving, looking at everybody else's stuff, writing the perfect script, you know, getting the correct branding. And it's not to say doing some of that is wrong. Yeah. Like, if you're naturally a processor and you need to do things before you do the thing, that's okay, but there's a level where you cross the line between-

Ali:

Yes

Sky:

I ain't doing this fucking thing because it's not perfect.

Ali:

Yeah, and it's gotten you so stuck now, you've forgotten how to action it.

Sky:

Yes.

Ali:

Or you're, you're not willing to action it.

Sky:

L- absolutely. And so I would love… Like, think about, like, what have we mentioned? The, the overachiever- Yeah … over responsible one, people pleaser, perfectionist, controller. Like, there's probably more, but-

Ali:

Mm… Sky: I want you to just think for identity that I resonate the most with? Yes.

Sky:

Right?'Cause as you said, we can't be aware of what we're not actually paying attention to.

Ali:

Mm, that's right, and remembering that all of those parts are actually here trying to protect the whole.

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

And they probably have, are being, you know, created in you because of some kind of conditioning or patterning or survival that you needed to go through. And, and now you're an adult. Yes. I mean, sometimes that healthy adult- Most days,

Sky:

Ally. Most days.

Ali:

Don't push it too hard. We do, we do

Sky:

try.

Ali:

We do try.

Sky:

We do.

Ali:

Um, but yeah, how, how can you come back to your healthy adult self- Mm … and, and find that courage and that willingness to step beyond that part of you that's keeping you stuck?

Sky:

Yeah.

Ali:

Yeah.

Sky:

And so if we think about the nature of beyond the therapy room, for me, the process has been, like, okay, if I'm going to do the podcast, starting to check in, like, when I go to do the different things, what are the bottleneck pieces? And they all link back to an identity. So it was like, oh, I'm too busy. Wait, I'm just putting everybody else first.

Ali:

Mm-hmm.

Sky:

Right? Oh, wait, I've gotta kinda make sure it's palatable for everybody. Oh, wait, no, you're trying to kind of please everybody and make sure all… 'Cause we talked about, like, oh my God, what… We've gotta make sure that we share enough that everybody feels something good and everybody, like, is benefiting. And it's like, no, Sky, like, bring it back again. So it's just in real time, like, notice where you pull back- Mm … what your brain tells you, because that's where the bottleneck is, and that's where the identity is screaming at you, "Danger."

Ali:

Yeah." Sky: Don't go there. Scary, new, different." Yeah. But we're gonna be brave. We're gonna be brave, and we're gonna keep feeling these things, and-

Sky:

We're gonna have the conversations, people… Ali: and action them anyway. And if you have conversations in your mind or that you're having with other therapists that you want us to share on here- Oh or that you want us to kind of be like, "Hey, what's Ally and Skye's opinion on this one?"

Ali:

Yeah, reach out. But- Send us a personal message on our Instagram page. We'd love to respond to you there and-

Sky:

Yeah … see

Ali:

if we can answer your query.

Sky:

And over the next few weeks, I want you to pay attention to where is your bottleneck. What is the identity-

Ali:

Yes… Sky: that is blocking you from actually Yeah, good luck with that.