Beyond The Therapy Room
You followed the training.
You built the skills.
You became the therapist.
But now you’re wondering… is this it?
Beyond the Therapy Room is where we have the conversations most therapists are thinking — but not saying out loud.
Sky (psychologist and mentor) and Ali (counsellor turned embodiment and healing practitioner) bring two perspectives: clinical and intuitive, structured and expansive.
We talk burnout, identity, spirituality, business, relationships, and what happens when you stop playing by the rules you were trained in.
This is for the therapist who knows there’s more.
Join us in these conversations in our Skool community - Beyond The Therapy Room (Beyond the Therapy Room)
Beyond The Therapy Room
Ep 14: The Parallel Process
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What happens when the work you're doing on yourself starts changing the way you show up professionally?
In this episode of Beyond the Therapy Room, Sky and Ali explore The Parallel Process — the way our personal growth and professional lives can evolve alongside one another.
They talk openly about the ways personal patterns can follow us into our careers and businesses, from being the rescuer or caretaker to struggling with boundaries, over-responsibility, self-doubt and the pressure to get everything “right.”
They explore what happens when therapists move beyond the traditional one-on-one therapy room into groups, teaching, leadership and sharing their knowledge more publicly — and how developing greater self-awareness, emotional capacity and self-belief can support that expansion.
The conversation also looks at identity, authenticity and the pressure to fit into a particular idea of what a “professional” therapist should look or sound like. What happens when you stop performing professionalism and start trusting your own voice, lived experience and way of doing things?
Sky and Ali also reflect on how our vision, purpose and business can change as we change — and how growth can affect the relationships and dynamics around us.
Ultimately, this episode is an invitation to pause, tune in and notice what is changing within you, and how that change may already be showing up in your professional life.
You don't have to lose yourself to grow. You can let your personal growth inform the work you bring into the world — and become more fully yourself in the process.
🎧 Don't forget to download the free reflection guide linked below this episode.
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You followed the training, you've built the skills, and you became the therapist. But now you're wondering, is this it? Beyond the therapy room is where we have the conversations most therapists are thinking, but not saying out loud. There's Sky, psychologist and mentor, and Ali, counsellor and tantric healer, bringing two perspectives, clinical and intuitive, structured and expensive. We talk burnout, identity, spirituality, business, relationships, and what happens when you stop playing by the rules that you are trained in. This is for the therapist who knows there's more. Two different paths, two different perspectives, but the same truth. There's more available to you than the books you were training. Hey listeners, are you one of those people who has a vision within them and they start to kind of create or you know capture it and then they stop and start, and there's something that's grand and wants to come through you into the world, but you're not sure yet how to navigate between that professional life that you have and this grand vision you're holding. Today in Beyond the Therapy Room, Sky and I are coming to you live from her beautiful property, and we're gonna share and talk more about how we ourselves have brought greater visions that have been within us out into the world to share with humanity. So that if if that interests you, I ask you to stick around and hear us out because we're gonna talk today more about that parallel process that's happening as we grow personally and come to know ourselves on deeper levels. We're also growing and expanding professionally and within our businesses. So there's much we're gonna cover today. We're gonna do a bit of an extended um episode because we've got time and spaciousness, it's just been so relaxing for us to both come out here into nature, and we've been discussing lots around um our own journeys, haven't we, Sky? Absolutely, yeah, and that self-reflection is so vital for you know just pausing and doing a check-in every now and then. Where am I at? You know, where have I been and where am I hoping to go? And I know for me, when I get an opportunity to drop deeper into myself and just do a little bit of internal navigation and checking out, like it really brings to the surface for me what's feeling good and keeping me alive and passionate and what's no longer serving me. Yeah, because um we were sitting by the fireplace last night and you were talking about this guy where when when we're in therapy mode or as a therapist, a mama, wife, a lot of the time as women we're nurturers, aren't we? And the focus is on the other. So we're in a lot of people's um minds and lives when we're in our therapy rooms, we're navigating parenting, you know, parenting concerns and children's needs all day, like at home, perimenopause, yeah, and ADHD, the mind our minds have lots going on. So um capturing like time for yourself, however that can look for you, like we've had the luxury of a whole weekend, haven't we, Sky? But you might only have your lunch break, or you might only have an hour before bed when the kids have gone to sleep. But being able to just pause and tune back into self and just notice and listen, listen on a deeper level to yourself. Um, yeah, you'd be able to discover all kinds of things as you know. Yeah, and um, yeah, so for me, I love the personal growth work. Like I've read and attended so many different opportunities to learn to navigate my inner terrain more and more and more, and as I do that, I do like I notice I'm becoming more of myself or I'm letting go of you know my conditioning. I'm able to um understand uh myself or recover from things that aren't serving me quicker. Yeah, and um I didn't notice until like a decade into running my own business that it's actually happening alongside my business expansion and growth too. So I'm gonna start a little bit more back um toward the beginning of my training because some of you listeners might be just just starting out in therapy with people, and that's a beautiful place to be because when I got my diploma in counselling, like, oh I'm a counsellor now, so I put on this hat and I'm wearing a role and I'm working as a counsellor, and that's great, and I loved it, and I'm I'm learning so much about how to support people in a one-on-one space, and um it grew my confidence, and it really helped me feel like I have something worthwhile that other people need yeah. Talk to me, Skye, about when you first became a psychologist. You know, you're fresh out of uni and you're starting to support people in the one-on-one space. Like, where were you at with your own personal growth then? Do you feel like there was a place that we can like say mark and say, hey, that's how I was feeling then or where my inner growth was at? Like, is there a starting place for you that you can remember?
SPEAKER_00I think the big thing for me, the shift from uni to actually working, was actually figuring out that it wasn't my job to solve everyone's problems. Uh-huh. And that was one of the first times I was like, oh, this is like a new season of growth for me, sitting in that space of like I went into it, mental health in the family, stuff of my own, being like, okay, I'm gonna go in, I'm gonna do psychology, I'm gonna figure out this magical thing, right? And then I'm gonna go and share it with the world, I'm just gonna fix everybody because that's what I'm gonna do. And then I went and I did the course and came out of that and was like, fuck, that's not what you do. What do I do from here?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so I can hear as you're speaking a big perspective change. You've gone in thinking that you can fix people or rescue people, yeah, and you've actually realized it's not that it's something else. Yeah, yeah. So that in that perspective change, there's growth, isn't there, for you?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, because personal life was like the rescuer. And so then having to sit in that space of like, no, it's other people's job to rescue themselves and you're on that journey with them. Yeah. Was a bit of an identity shift for me in that moment. Yeah, beautiful. I didn't realize that who I was was it leads into like your career and your business, right? It sure does.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And so can that how does that then translate for you into business?
SPEAKER_00In terms well, I guess early years it wasn't my own business, but in terms of business, there's a lot of pressure then I think on me in the therapy room. So as the rescuer, it's like I've got to get it right and I've got to do the work and I've got to figure out this magical thing that's then gonna make that person be able to change. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Without yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I'm thinking about my experience of that too, like I did a lot of shadow work in my early days of personal discovery, and I'm like leaning into I know and am accepting of certain parts of self, but when I learned what shadow work was, I learned that I had the rescuer archetype and the caretaker archetype, and I could see in my personal life how I'd had a pattern of doing that with my friendships, with my family, with my partner. And it and it is a burden that we take on their, you know, their needs, and we try to fix it for them. And it's very exhausting and draining over the long term if you do that ongoing, yeah. But for me, it was like um when I realized that I again like you, I can't rescue anyone. What that did for me is it opened up this um emotional capacity to witness another person's sufferings or their challenges and not make it my own, not personalise it. Yeah, and so that that for me was that personal growth of understanding that part and that pattern helped me to be able to better sit in uncomfortable spaces with other people, but have the emotional capacity to just witness or support or put the empowerment back into their hands. What can like question in a new way? What can you do about that? So, yeah, it's very translatable your own personal growth to how you show up then in your in your business, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, and I think this is true for so many of us, but we I don't know, we either go down the I need the therapy route, which is fucking amazing, but then we're focusing on just that personal life, or we go into supervision, which is again amazing, but we're focusing on professional life, and that's that gap or that bridge between the two is not often always addressed or talked about because I've just noticed the evolution of me, and then in my business it translates.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so at first we might be seeing ourselves as very, you know, separate in these different environments and spaces, is what I'm hearing you say. And then over time we learn we learn a way to integrate. The they're not so separate anymore. So let's keep talking more about you know ways in which we've noticed the integration happening. So for me, one of the biggest leaps I took was when you invited me to jump in the deep end and go and start doing Facebook Lives on on um Facebook, a Facebook group that we'd created together. And that was a huge step out of my comfort zone for an introvert who doesn't really like to be as sociable as many other people that I knew around me, yeah, and like pretty private. I love to be private, keep my personal life to myself. Um, but I'd already kind of overcome the rescuer, knew how to sit in emotional spaces with people without personalizing it, and sitting like starting to take that leap really helped me go from one-on-one spaces to holding containers of people because that's a big thing. A lot of us, you know, a lot of you listeners might want to start to hold a group or create your own community of people, yeah, and exercising that muscle within yourself, your nervous system needs to be able to stay in a calm, regulated space to to sit in the discomfort of another and help break like help bring them back to a calm, regulated space, and being able to keep your consciousness over the whole room and witness what's you know what's emerging for the people in your space and responding to that or getting all those yeah personalities, needs. That's right. So that to me, like when I knew more about how I could downregulate myself in my personal life and how I could manage and organize, like self-organize my parts, my patterns, and you know, my day-to-day experiencing, it became so much um easier to do that in the group spaces.
SPEAKER_00I think another thing that I noticed that um came up for me when it was moving from the therapy room one-on-one to even just sharing outside of this space was I think when we're in the room, we get really, really good at being um the responders. So we're seeing what's in the room and then we're responding to whatever's on the other side. Um, and there's a safety in that that I didn't realize too. Because me as the over-responsible one, when I was online, it was like, well, when I share this information, there was two things. When I share this information, how are people gonna receive it? And is it gonna be okay? And are they gonna be affected by it? And am I upsetting somebody? And there was all of this chatter because I didn't have the information coming back after I put it into the universe. And then the flip of that was because I was so good at responding, and then I'd get on the camera and it's looking at me, I'd be like, What the fuck do I say? Yeah, like I've got no one to bounce off, and I think that's why it works so well, like hanging out with you, Allie. But even just going like I love my TikToking, if you know me, but even just put starting the camera, I'd be like, I'm so boring, I have nothing to say. And then I'd put the camera off and I'd talk to Alan and be like, fuck, why didn't I record that? And so just learning those different parts of my personality and how that was showing up in the therapy room and what I needed, and it was just such a learning experience.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and sometimes we're not even giving ourselves that opportunity unless we push ourselves out of our comfort zone and take a chance and just say yes to something. Yeah, because it like we'll keep coming back to it's in the doing that we build the muscles, it's in the doing that we build our confidence and our absolute self-belief. Yeah, so yes, it's um that's a good one to to think about, Sky. And for me too, like meditation. I got to a point in my own journey where I, you know, I was practicing meditation and playing around with different styles. But what I found that gave me with was a greater depth of presence. Yeah, yeah. So not just with myself, but in the group spaces, then I could be more observant and take in everyone's like it felt like I could take in everyone's responses all at once and and better assess where the greatest need was in the room. Yeah. Because I had this peacefulness within this clarity that meditation brought me, yeah. I felt like I kept my finger on the pulse in a in a bigger space with more personalities bouncing around. So yeah, that was helpful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, when you talk about um that and doing the meditation, I think um for me the way that that comes about is uh like letting go of the that responsible identity. Because when we're in a space with so many people at a retreat or a a workshop or a group, um there is a different level of care that you have available and just communicating all the things, but even just within that for my own internal self, it was understanding that you like it's not about bringing the one-on-one level of care into that group space because that's what overwhelm me. It's like, oh my god, now I've got ten people that I've got to give the one-on-one care to, without realizing in my own mind that that was my over-responsible identity. Yes, and there was not an expectation really of the people coming into that space for that. Yeah. And so it's it's I've I've noticed at each kind of stage where I've done something different, there's a different part of my identity that shows up and goes, This is scary. What do I do? And and having to move through that and talk myself through that is what's created the grounding for me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So I can I can hear like the different context in which we show up calls from us or asks us to um show up in new or different ways. Yeah, in a group setting, the beautiful coherence that the group creates together sparks the um epiphanies in one another, and they're all kind of like witnessing each other and and us. So yeah, wherever in the background going, we're learning too. Yes, we are, because that's how humans connect and literally. Yeah, and like we might enter that room and we're more in teaching mode now rather than in our chatter or in our over-responsible, over-caretaking time.
SPEAKER_00Shifting that that role from that practitioner, right?
SPEAKER_02It does, yeah, definitely does. Yeah, because then instead of being so focused on the like our self-monitoring or the other's experience of us, we can just get into the flow state a little easier in a in a teaching type mode, and we can trans like transmit then what is in us that needs to or wants to come out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think we we were sitting again by the fire last night and Ali was talking. I'm like, oh my god, wait, I just want to record you. Because I think sometimes we don't realize the level of um knowledge, information that we um learn as therapists, practitioners, because it becomes what is normal, familiar for us. Yeah, it's just who I am. Yeah, and even when you were talking last night, I was like, She I don't know that. I'm like, that's really interesting, and it's just Ali's normal flow. And so I think even just is like owning our what would you call that? Like just owning your knowledge, it's more than that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so this is for me what helped me go from being in a teacher mode or a self kind of monitoring mode into hey, I have the ability to to lead, influence, and inspire others, yes, just by being me. Yeah, it's powerful, and it's like I think it takes a level of self-belief and self-confidence and enough feedback or enough experience in different spaces and contexts to actually start to really listen and believe the people at what they're saying. Because me on my own, I'm just gonna go, oh, that's just who I am. Oh, that's just me being me. But when I see the effect I have on the other, yeah, or their what they're receiving, how they're transforming because of the one thing I said, or their ongoing relationship with me, yeah, that is gold. That like I live for that.
SPEAKER_00You do, you just lit up then.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and so that to me, like um being allowing yourself to expand, to listen to the feedback, to adjust and and um grow in your confidence is so transferable from personal to to business, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And just in that sentence too, I think when I started, because I love teaching, like that's one of the things I enjoy the most. But when I first started teaching, I felt very monitored. Um, because you know, there's APRA and we have to do the right thing, and I think we get caught up in like, yes, that is so important, and though APRA doesn't mean don't be yourself or deliver things in a way that are naturally the way that you would do it. Uh and so you know, there's there's teaching and then there's there's the leadership of sharing your knowledge, right? Yes. And I think sometimes they're slightly different. Like you will know if you've been at school, there would be a teacher that was memorable for you, and maybe they made the class like they brought some of themselves to the room.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because uh your teacher can make or break your learning, right? Right, and and so I think that's just being mindful of this as you kind of expand too that what's your flavor or what's your what's your way of doing things? And not to be afraid to, you know, we've taught before, mashing the modalities or the trainings together to become that you've develop your own language, you know. I got my Ali language, you got your Sky language, and you listen to it. No, no. Well, that's how we know it's you, Sky. You drop a you drop a F bomb every now and then. Sorry, go. But yeah, you're gonna have your own language as well, and your own unique way of expressing the things that you've learned. Yeah, and and for me, I I always come back to lived experience comes with that wisdom that is now yours. You own it, it's in your blood, and it is so okay to share from your own love, like life and lived experience. And for me, that's where I feel like I can hit the flow state better when I'm talking about what I have integrated or what I have learned to um you know understand and um follow through with within myself.
SPEAKER_00And I I think we before we got on the podcast, Ali was talking in Ali voice. And I think that's the thing, like I fucking love that. Like, you know when you're in your flow because there's a certain way that your voice the tone. Absolutely, and we were talking before about when Ali's like really fast paced and a height, like that's a different experience for you. That's not you in your flow state when you're really heightened.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's often me, like I'm a very sensitive person. I'm very like I grew up my whole childhood and adolescence just matching the energy of of the people around me because I like even though I might have known who I was, I wasn't mature enough to have a grounded sense of self or to know what is my energetic vibration or signature like? What's what is my baseline? And so it took a lot of learning, personal like learning around what's my energy and what's the other person's energy, and what's it like when I'm in a soup of energy in a room full of people, yeah, yeah, and um yeah, that that again has been another parallel process that I can see has helped me in my business so much as well. Yeah, because otherwise we get in comparison, right?
SPEAKER_00Because my like animated ex like this is how I like him normally, right? Like I'm really like up here, yeah. And so when I started getting online, I was like, oh wait, like maybe that's wrong. Like maybe I'm meant to be a little bit more calm, or I meant to be a bit more professional, or I meant to talk slow on like all of this. I should, should, should, should, should versus like, oh hang on, just wait, like what is my natural way?
SPEAKER_02Yes, I'm allowed to be the sky, the expressive, playful, energetic one who like is bubbly and vibrant and animated, you know. And to me, that is a very attractive energy, but to others, like and to you in the world, my energy is attractive too, correct? It's like you might be in the mood for some sky energy, or you might be in the mood for some alley energy, like all is okay, it's like a buffet of options out there. It's like we like eating carrots, you like eating oranges, you know. So stepping out of those roles or those identities or those parts and and moving more like away from professionalism and performance and having to show up in a particular way to hey, I'm pretty wise, I'm pretty smart, I understand this stuff, and I can just talk from a more genuine, authentic, you know, um regulated my energy space.
SPEAKER_00Because when you use um those words too, right? I like professionalism, I think it's checking in because I know you love being professional, and I love being professional, and yet the way that we do it and our definition for that is so different, literally, and so I think that's where we also can get caught up is the meaning we attach to things, you know, and and yes, there's societal ideas around things and they're important, we can pay attention to some of that, but then there's also a level of where that traps us. And so, even just yourself, like, write down like what is my idea of professionalism? What is my idea of what a psychologist or a counselor therapist should look like? And just start checking in with yourself is that actually aligned with me, with my thoughts, my ideas, who I am. Yeah, that's it. And start exploring. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, 'cause we don't like I had a little bit of a massage yesterday in a session and the lady was really good at reading energy and she's talking to me about my solar plexus. And like for any of you who know and understand, you know, more metaphysical or esoteric things, your solar plexus is just below your your you know, your rib cage but above your belly button. I'm touching it now, you you know, for those of you watching on YouTube. Yes. Um, but for the listeners, you know, it's it's a yellow chakra and it's about our personal power. And if we're not really clear on, you know, those what those things mean to us or our values or what's important to us, we can very quickly be pulled off in someone else's intention or belief or value. Yeah. And then that disempowers us, or we're like it's almost like we're self-abandoning our own truth, isn't it? And so being able to, you know, recognize when that's happening, like some for me, learning about my chakras in my personal life is translatable in my professional life because now I can kind of go, it's okay for me to hold this truth, yeah, and stay in my belief around that and honour yours. 100%. I don't need to match or agree with you just to have connection or you know, um network with you or collaborate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's huge um thing for me as a parallel process. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00When you were talking then, what came up for me is the word boundaries um and how in my personal life, because have grown up very much, you know, had ADHD, anxious around that, become people pleased that people need to like me because I'm too much, like all of that story um had me very much have a lack of boundaries. And when I went into particularly my own business, I wasn't personally aware of how much who Sky is and her lack of boundaries would then influence my business and then my business's lack of boundaries, and not with necessarily clients, like Sky Psychologist clicked on there, but Sky businesswoman, professional, I was like, fuck, like I've set my own hours and now I've extended my own hours, or I've set my own fee, but now I've waived my fee, or I've set a cancellation policy and now I've forgot that cancellation policy, and I wasn't paying attention to some of those things.
SPEAKER_02Yes, because we're all human too. Like, while we might talk about being, you know, staying in our genuine authentic self, like I have a conscious waking occurring mind, like a I'm in my my human self, but I have a good understanding of my higher self or my spiritual self or my healthy adult self if you want to talk in you know therapy language. Yeah, I think understanding and and doing the personal work really translates in being able to identify when we slip back into a mode, a role, a part, a pattern, and have a quicker recovery time, or being able to identify, like we call it bottleneck sky, or identify when when I'm doing the same thing with but with a different person. Yes, and now I can catch it in real time, and now I can make a new choice and and create a new neural pathway in my mind or a new somatic response in my body. Yeah, and yeah, look at you sighing just as I'm saying that.
SPEAKER_00Because yeah, something came up the other day where um uh somebody questioned me on something, and it was like a nothing conversation, and I was able to answer back, and it was fine, and it was done. And I just had this like moment where I was like, oh my god, Sky, if this had happened in the past where another professional had questioned you, you would have gone straight to this identity of like, oh my god, I'm in trouble, I've done something wrong, I've disappointed. And I think it's so important when we can clock that oh my nervous system didn't do that then. Yeah, how cool is that. Celebrating. And so I think for the listeners too, it's like, yes, notice when your conditioning is showing up, but also give yourself some fucking credit when you even just notice it or when you notice that it's not as impacting on your nervous system. Because we're very quick to be like, this is where I fuck up.
SPEAKER_02Yes, we see our deficits so readily, don't we? Absolutely, and especially if we are busy or in a uh you know a stress state ourselves, or there's like one thing after the other, we don't take the time to self-acknowledge sometimes or to celebrate those wins or changes that are happening for us, too. Absolutely. So let this be your reminder today to you know make sure you cultivate space in your diary, weekly or monthly, whatever works best for you, to um stock take pro like what is working, what's not working, what's feeling like it's shifting and changing internally, and how is that like reflecting in my outside world? Yeah, I think that's a really healthy and beautiful practice we can be doing for ourselves.
SPEAKER_00And I'm I'm quite visual, so sometimes what I'll do is I'll get a piece of paper, Alan, I'll put like three columns, and I'll do like personal life, professional life, and then I'll be like either like what's changing or what I want to change or what I'm noticing is improving. Yeah. So I can almost visually see the parallel, right? So it's like I don't know, maybe better boundaries with my daughter, and then in business, I'm like, oh wow, I'm doing more of that, you know, cancellation policy and follow-through, which is like, oh wow, like I want to keep cementing those boundaries.
SPEAKER_02Beautiful.
SPEAKER_00Um, and it just gives me a visual way of of clocking how well I feel I'm doing or what I also want to work on.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. So that's that's a beautiful visceral, tangible outside of yourself um way to self-reflect, isn't it? Yeah. Whereas for me, a lot of that process is happening internal. Yeah, yeah. And so um it might be that I make space in my day to meditate, or I might start in a rumination process in my mind, but it's self-organized, it self-organizes, and the epiphanies drop in and the insight and revelations arrive, and I'm like, aha. Ding ding! There it is. But I I've I went through uh years of needing to journal it and um put it outside of myself, yeah. And I think we exercise as muscles in different ways, you know. I still go back to journaling when I need it. Yeah, I still go back to meditating when I need it, or stretching and moving my body and and um being able to recalibrate my own energies, like whatever's working for you. I love it for your self-check-ins.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Something else, and I'm curious what your thoughts are that I notice happens for me when I um I grow and expand, is that there is a person who people in my personal life know me to be. And then I think through that we create a person that people in your professional life know you to be. Yes. And so then when you're like, I want to be someone different, or I want to do something different, or I want to grow, or I learned this really cool thing, and now I'm gonna share it. It's outside the box of what I normally do. I can almost feel the people or the energy around me being like, What the fuck? Like, that's not sky.
SPEAKER_02We're so used to this version of you, and now you're showing us, you know, new parts or new, you know, new confidence, or yeah, new visions, yeah, new ideas. It scares me, like it scares us on the outside, right?
SPEAKER_00Like I think all of our nervous systems are so familiar with how the dynamics of relationships are. And so when we go to grow and somebody comes in and their nervous system is dysregulated because you're changing, I think what I used to do is be like, oh, this must be wrong. Yeah. Uh and so I would retreat and just go back to what is familiar. And the way one of my peoples that I talk to uh shared this with me, she's like, No, you're just you're just learning a new dance and they're tripping over you because they're in the old dance. And maybe you need to communicate with them that you're doing a new dance and then it's their choice what they want to do with that. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02And I was like, Oh, that's pretty cool. It is. Yeah, I talk about relational dances too. And if um for you watching on on YouTube you can see my hands, but for the listeners, I've got all of the fingertips on both my hands touching one another. And like if we change how we show up, the other person either needs to change and and match us or the relationship will fall away, or you know, like you're and you might like you might go back to the old pattern, but the more that you stay in that new choice, the more they'll have to meet you there, won't they?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I learned it's a bit like going to the gym, right? You or or like dirty dancing people if you like hold the frame, right? Like you've got to hold the frame. Because if you don't this is my space, baby, this is yours. Literally, right? Because if you don't, then you fall back into um whatever that was, which means that you don't get to I don't know, grow experience, whatever it is that your journey's taking you on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, so if that's you and you and you always make yourself wrong, or or you worry about maybe leaving people behind.
SPEAKER_02That's when I'm disappointing. Yeah, that's when I felt like when you know, especially in my intimate relationships, if I'm growing, if my personal growth like exceeds or expands beyond what the relationship can hold, or where he's at, where my partner's at. Yeah, I feel bad. Like I feel like I'm doing the a disservice to them because they're not growing with me. Yeah, you know, and it and it can it can hurt.
SPEAKER_01It can.
SPEAKER_02It can be scary and we can like we can retreat back to well, I'll just meet them where they're at. And it's not that anyone's better than or worse than it's just an adjusting, isn't it? Hundred percent. Yeah, so don't be like, don't let fear get in the way of your growth. What I'm feeling, like all of what we're sharing about, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00Don't let it stop you. No, it's just information that something is different and uncomfortable. Yeah. Unless it's you know like dark alley stranger mode. Sorry, my brain goes ADHD, then like listen to that. Fear is different to anxiety. Yeah, how do we differentiate?
SPEAKER_02It's important though, right? It is, it's necessary. Because I know like a lot of the times fear will stop you dead in your tracks because it's not a it's not nice to feel scared or afraid or you know, worried about something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but then because now we're going in analogy mode, sorry guys, because we're on the property, right? Like fear will stop us thinking it's a snake and it's a stick. Yes, right, but here's the key, right? Once you learn it's just a fucking stick, keep moving forward, and I think that's where we get caught up, right? We get caught up in like, yeah, but it could have been, and maybe next time. And so I should. Inverse's life, it was it's okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna tune back into myself and see if there's anything else we want to share about this parallel processing, guys. Yeah, this you wrote this, this is cool. Yeah, so let's come back to that. So um Sky's just pointed to the word vision, and for me, like ever since I was a teenager, I've always felt I had a mission while I was here on earth. I love that. Something that I like was only that only I can accomplish this mission. Yeah, and I'm a full believer that we all have a purpose or a mission or a vision that we're here to bring to humanity, and um what for me like it's not been one specific thing that I have to do, and it's always been that one thing. I feel our purpose or our vision or our mission morphs and changes with this parallel process. So when I've been a you know family support worker in community services sector, I've been on purpose and in my mission, yeah, and learning and acquiring the skills or the connections and the networks that I needed. And and for the next step, when I look back, like hindsight can show me how every little experience, job, relationship, personal growth, all of those things have been necessary to get me to who I am and where I am and how I am today. Yeah, and I I when Reiki came into my life, it felt like a big bowl or ribbon around a lot of things because for a long time there was this physical alley, and I grew up in the Christian church and I had um understanding of God, but I didn't have an like a way to make spirituality my own. Yeah, you know, what's my relationship to divine?
SPEAKER_00Yes, I love that.
SPEAKER_02So Raking gave me that piece too, and helped me integrate, you know, physical with spiritual self. Yeah, and yeah, so I still like even now sitting here, spirit keeps calling me to do the next thing, to expand, continue expanding and growing and healing, whatever, like whatever that is to you, yeah, and to continue to birth or create, like to create and bring into the world the next purpose, the next vision, the next mission. I love that. And so my whole like ever since I started my business, especially, I can see so clearly how when I grow, my business grows. Yeah. When I, you know, tap into more of who I am and my next becoming, I have a new offering for people. And the the scary one, the biggest one for me right now is yes, I've been an amazing therapist in a psychology practice, but there's this spiritual person in me who has so much wisdom from her lived experience that just wants to be teaching and showing and leading the way with embodiment, with tuning in and aligning your energies, you know. Yes, so I love you. Just speak that because I'm sure a lot of you listeners out there love to hear and know and talk about those things too. We're not having enough of those conversations in the world, I think. So let's have them here too. Literally, that's what the whole podcast is about, you know. Yes, having those conversations and talking in the ways in which we our professional or therapist mode sometimes doesn't allow. No, yeah. Love it. Talk to me with yourself, you know. What's been your journey from like a Zone Sky you love to create and it's new shiny thing with your ADHD? And like you you are the wind beneath people's wings, so you are a force of inspiration for others, you know. You inspire and encourage and uplift the people just by being you. Like is there anything you want to really share with for the listeners today to encourage them, to like give them permission to have the vision, to hold that vision and to grow alongside that vision. Wisdom on the spot.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Well, I think the biggest thing is just listen to yourself because I know for me when I went and looked at like what's my vision or passion or purpose, and then I get met with like business coaches, and this is not right, wrong, and there's a place for everything, but when the first thing back to me is what's your niche, and then I got really stuck in like I've got to find this one little tiny thing that I work with, and I'm and and that got really stuck at the beginning when I was so uncertain of myself. And now that question is a lot more helpful and a lot more easy, but at the beginning, I think sometimes we ask ourselves the wrong questions. I love that. And so I just think it's more about like who do I want to become and what do I want to share with the world and who do I want in my spaces versus who's the person I'm gonna give to? And because that will naturally come about. Yes, it will. So just reverse engineering because mine's always been like I I was the child who was like, and not necessarily from other people around me, but just felt within me like I'm too much, um, I'm I need to keep my mouth closed, like people are annoyed by me, people get upset by me, like I uh like I just overwhelm people, and so shut down for a very long time, and then I think my whole purpose and still is, I think, is like be your fucking self, like put yourself out in the world, like yes, be respectful, but also just be you and do it your way and learn to trust in that. And I just think for me, the way I've gone about doing that is different. Like each time I grow, it's like it gets delivered differently. Beautiful.
SPEAKER_02Does that make sense? Yeah, so it becomes clearer your essence or your offering is becoming more of you.
SPEAKER_00So it's like I gotta do the work so I can teach people to do the work. Yes, like that one, that one.
SPEAKER_02And this is the whole you can talk a talk, but are you walking your walk? Yeah, and when we integrate our personal growth ourselves, we are the living embodiment or a transmission of who we have become. Yes, and then quite naturally by osmosis, just being around someone, yeah, they're getting the gift of you that they might need from that, you know, and they they'll take what's there for them and they'll leave what's not. Correct. Yeah, so one of my parting messages for listeners today might be to tune in and really listen inwardly to yourself, yeah. To stay in your passion and your joy and in what feels aligned for you. Because if we can trust our capacity to grow as individuals and you know have our own unique personal lived experiences, that will help us grow and expand our business and our vision as well. It is just a natural byproduct.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the more you pay attention to you and your needs and how you're showing up in the world and your experience, the more that will support you to grow whatever professional career it is that you want.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. And then you're able to create and connect without losing yourself in the process or abandoning or wishy-washying yourself or sounding like you're just regurgitating someone else. So basically be your fucking self.
SPEAKER_00Yeah!
SPEAKER_02And if you don't know who that is, that's okay. You can figure it out. Yes. And if you need help to figure that out, um look in the comment underneath this podcast, you'll find a reflection guide that can give you a bit of a you know, stop, a pause, a tune in and some questions to really consider what wait upon the all we've talked about today.
SPEAKER_01Sounds good.
SPEAKER_02Don't forget to rate and review. That's um how we get our podcast in front of more listeners. So if you've really received something that landed for you today in our talk, and or share it, share it with a friend, um, leave a comment, rate and review. That's really going to help get our voices out into the world and um in front of the people who need to hear it. Stay tuned for the next episode.